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1. Work. I let work and the desire to be top of my freelance game rule almost every other part of my life and fear of letting my quality control slip makes me stay extra hours when I don't need to and stress to get to work instead of taking longer to train in the morning.
I can get over this by accepting I'm good at my job and am always respectful of the time I give to it. To actually give more time to myself to do things I love which are healthy for my body and mind (martial arts!!!) would ironically actually end up making me even better at my job and free up more creativity in my mind. So my reason for not training is counterintuitive....which is a long word.
2. Time. Never have enough time.
This year I have been working hard on lessening my stress levels and perception of stress after a couple of minor panic attacks and slow recognition that I am permanently in fight or flight for no reason, even when the stresses in my life that had created that feeling had ended. By doing this I have realised that it's just a perception of not having enough time! See above about work for instance. I can still do all jobs, chores etc and make time for myself to train. It is part of prioritising what is truly important to me and what is good for me. By doing what is good for me (in a respectful manner) also makes me more able to help and support those around me.
3. My relationship with my fiance.
Perception that because I met someone I love and that we don't live together (therefore have mainly only weekends to spend time together) that I should give her as much time as I could as we got to know each other to let her know I care for her. This has pretty much passed and I've got better at it but it's an absolute load of bollocks!! She
obviously wants to spend time with me but when someone cares for you they don't need you to give up or sacrifice something you love for them. Ridiculous notion but it took me a while to realise it.
4. Inferiority. I've been training on and off for about a decade but in my head I'm still the shittest in the class. I don't always genuinely believe this but it creeps up on me. Imposter syndrome. That people think I shouldn't be there. This also comes from a extradordinaly powerful and bad habit to beat myself up for not being good enough. Something I'm always working on nowadays. What's funny is its irrelevant anyway how good or bad I am compared to others as martial arts is not about that! Again. Load of old bollocks that shouldn't be given the time of day.
5. Distance to train with Sifu from Essex. Very honest one. It's now over 4 hours each way to get to training which I don't want to do on a weekend as I'm normally fucking knackered from work during the week.
Easy! Pass my driving test so I don't need to get 3 trains and a bus there. Again, I'm working on this and had my theory booked (next bloody Monday!) and lessons booked in but all got cancelled due to current situation. This will pass and when it does I can get over this too.
Slowly realising what we perceive can have a very powerful effect on our actions and our outlook. I have learnt this year that we often create our own stresses through our own perception of situations. This is so strong it's actually held me back from training for a year which I believe has in part had a hugely negative effect on my daily mental health. Working on it. Thanks Sifu.l for asking us to do this.
I can get over this by accepting I'm good at my job and am always respectful of the time I give to it. To actually give more time to myself to do things I love which are healthy for my body and mind (martial arts!!!) would ironically actually end up making me even better at my job and free up more creativity in my mind. So my reason for not training is counterintuitive....which is a long word.
2. Time. Never have enough time.
This year I have been working hard on lessening my stress levels and perception of stress after a couple of minor panic attacks and slow recognition that I am permanently in fight or flight for no reason, even when the stresses in my life that had created that feeling had ended. By doing this I have realised that it's just a perception of not having enough time! See above about work for instance. I can still do all jobs, chores etc and make time for myself to train. It is part of prioritising what is truly important to me and what is good for me. By doing what is good for me (in a respectful manner) also makes me more able to help and support those around me.
3. My relationship with my fiance.
Perception that because I met someone I love and that we don't live together (therefore have mainly only weekends to spend time together) that I should give her as much time as I could as we got to know each other to let her know I care for her. This has pretty much passed and I've got better at it but it's an absolute load of bollocks!! She
obviously wants to spend time with me but when someone cares for you they don't need you to give up or sacrifice something you love for them. Ridiculous notion but it took me a while to realise it.
4. Inferiority. I've been training on and off for about a decade but in my head I'm still the shittest in the class. I don't always genuinely believe this but it creeps up on me. Imposter syndrome. That people think I shouldn't be there. This also comes from a extradordinaly powerful and bad habit to beat myself up for not being good enough. Something I'm always working on nowadays. What's funny is its irrelevant anyway how good or bad I am compared to others as martial arts is not about that! Again. Load of old bollocks that shouldn't be given the time of day.
5. Distance to train with Sifu from Essex. Very honest one. It's now over 4 hours each way to get to training which I don't want to do on a weekend as I'm normally fucking knackered from work during the week.
Easy! Pass my driving test so I don't need to get 3 trains and a bus there. Again, I'm working on this and had my theory booked (next bloody Monday!) and lessons booked in but all got cancelled due to current situation. This will pass and when it does I can get over this too.
Slowly realising what we perceive can have a very powerful effect on our actions and our outlook. I have learnt this year that we often create our own stresses through our own perception of situations. This is so strong it's actually held me back from training for a year which I believe has in part had a hugely negative effect on my daily mental health. Working on it. Thanks Sifu.l for asking us to do this.
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